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Do Women Actually Reach Orgasm Every Time They Have Sex?!

how often do women orgasm what's considered normal are women reaching climax every single time they have sex and what do they really want I'm Dr Rena Malek urologist and pelvic surgeon and today I'm going to answer those questions now we know that there is a very large orgasm gap between men and women what that means is that men are much more likely to achieve an orgasm during a sexual encounter compared to females and this varies even between heterosexual and homosexual relationships generally speaking women tend to more often experience orgasm in homosexual relationships rather than heterosexual relationships ranging from 75 to 86 percent in homosexual relationships compared to 61 to 66 percent in heterosexual relationships now why is this so there are some biological reasons certainly health conditions cardiovascular disease diabetes and neurological disorders can make make it harder for women to achieve climax also if you have an unhealthy lifestyle or have certain medications or substances that you're using heavily like alcohol and drugs those can also have an impact on the ability to achieve orgasm now psychological factors can also play a role things like stress feeling down or depressed having personal problems not feeling good about your body or having trouble in your relationships can all make it more challenging to reach orgasms and lastly inadequate stimulation I've talked about this a lot but in general clitoral stimulation is the most reliable way for women to achieve climax on a regular basis and unfortunately for a lot of women they cannot achieve climax with vaginal penetration alone so in order to learn more about the female orgasmic experience women's preferences and sexual function researchers conducted a web-based survey on Sexual Health they recruited 303 U.S women in 2016. and in the study they asked them a whole bunch of different questions to try and better understand their sexual experiences and their relationships they asked about their sexual orientation how often they have sex the positions they prefer if they masturbate and how often women have orgasms what techniques they use to reach orgasm and how they describe the experience they also covered questions about their current relationship status and their partner's willingness to engage in sexual activities and intimacy both before and after sex they also asked about their partner's ability to get and maintain an erection control ejaculation and they even asked women if they were satisfied with their penis size so make sure you stick around till the end of the video where I cover what they thought about their partner's penis sizes so to measure women's sexual function they used a validated questionnaire called the fsfi and this is a very commonly used questionnaire and it covers different aspects of sexual function like desire a arousal lubrication orgasm satisfaction and pain the highest score you can get is a 36 but if a woman scores 26.5 or lower it suggests that they might be at risk of sexual dysfunction so a majority of the women in this study about 220 of them were between the ages of 18 and 49. with an average age of about 40 and they were mostly in long-term relationships now this is important because being in a long-term relationship has some interesting associations it's been seen as both a risk factor and a predictor for sexual dysfunction as women in long-term relationships have been shown to have a decrease in desire and in the frequency of how often they're having sex but on the other hand being in a committed and secure relationship also contributes to having a better sexual experience and better orgasmic function compared to women having one-night stands and this makes sense right because women are more comfortable than they may be communicating better with their Partners they may know better what they want when they're in a long-term relationship with someone so when they looked at results they wanted to see what was the average so us-based women what's the average rate of intercourse masturbation and orgasm what sexual positions did they prefer what did they want with their partner and were they satisfied and lastly did penile size matter so let's start with averages what was average the average age women had their first sexual encounter in this study was around age 17. and on average they had intercourse about eight times per month and it lasted 18.5 minutes on average now remember they didn't Define intercourse as just penetrative so this likely includes foreplay maybe other types of sex if you watch my video on how long sex lasts on average you know that penetration itself is usually much shorter in terms of masturbation 76 percent of women said they practiced Mass disturbation and of those 51 performed external stimulation and five percent performed internal stimulation only and 44 performed both external and internal stimulation when rating their preferred sexual positions and activities at a scale from zero to ten the top three positions were missionary doggy style and the female on top 83 percent of those women also had foreplay as a part of their sexual encounter and 72 percent of the women reached orgasm frequently meaning most of the time always and even sometimes during any kind of sexual stimulation and during vaginal intercourse whereas thirteen to fourteen percent never reach an orgasm or we're not sure and 15 to 16 percent report they rarely reached orgasm now this is not unfortunately surprising when looking at lots of data we do see that about 12 to 14 percent of men women never reach orgasm unlike men where the rate of not reaching climax is much lower it is much higher in women now in terms of satisfaction close to half of the women reported being dissatisfied with their orgasmic function they found that women who had orgasms more likely those who liked sex who describe themselves as liking sex or who had foreplay as a part of their sexual encounter in terms of what caused orgasm 62 percent reported that intercourse was the best trigger for orgasm the second best trigger was external stimulation by a partner's hand about 48 or by mouth and then external stimulation by their own hand through masturbation 37 percent or a vibrator 29 and lastly through anal intercourse and only seven percent now how long did it take them to reach orgasm the average time to reach or orgasm by external stimulation was about 10 minutes whereas it was 15 minutes with intercourse so it takes longer with vaginal penetration now that makes sense because vaginal penetration is not directly stimulating the clitoris but may be stimulating it from the inside and very often people are having vaginal penetration with external stimulation at the same time now in terms of the women in the study they also Express their desires and preferences so what did they actually want even though they were having sex about eight times they wanted it more frequently about 12 times per month and they wanted it to last 24 minutes in terms of foreplay 48 percent found the amount of foreplay to be adequate 30 percent wanted more and five percent actually wanted Less in terms of satisfaction while 89 reported having a good emotional relationship meaning good very good or excellent with their sexual partner only 54 percent were overall satisfied meaning very or moderately satisfied with their sex life 79 reported liking sex so despite having good relationships and liking sex only half actually were satisfied with their sex life now this is not a great number so why did women have higher rates of sexual dysfunction well we can't tell you exactly why but they did find some correlations women with higher rates of sexual dysfunction were more likely to have irregular menstrual cycles which may be a sign of like another condition or problems that can affect sexual function feel depressed or stressed didn't enjoy sex now remember that was a small subset of patients about 21 had a partner who was unwilling to have sex that obviously makes sense lacked sufficient foreplay or after play had infrequent or irregular sex and had a poor emotional relationship with their partner or they were unhappy with their Partners erectile function ejaculatory control or penis size now a lot of these are not surprising right but what was surprising was that other factors you would think might affect sexual function were not linked with it like having heart disease diabetes or having children didn't actually correlate with worse sexual function okay now what you've all been waiting for does penile size matter here's the good news 89 of these women were satisfied with their partner's penile size and more than half reported that a bigger penis did not matter for sexual satisfaction now this study only sampled 300 women in the United States and these women chose to participate in online Sexual Health survey so you could get a biased selection so those who actually chose to participate May either choose to because they have a great sex life or on the other end because they just really have a bad sex life and want to talk about it on a survey I think overall the bottom line is that this is a variable population but most women are satisfied with their overall sexual life their orgasmic ability and frequency and the majority were also satisfied with their partner's sexual functions so they weren't bothered by their performance or their penile size interestingly sexual dysfunction in women was more common in those whose Partners were unwilling to have sex or didn't have adequate foreplay so I think a really important take home that you could take in this video is incorporating foreplay and talking to your partner about what sorts of positions and ways they like to achieve orgasm can be helpful and it's okay if you need to use external stimulation or bring a toy to the bedroom or a vibrator or anything like that because the bottom line is achieving pleasure and having good sexual relationships so if you enjoyed this video please make sure to subscribe and share this Channel with your friends if you liked it make sure you check out my video with Dr Kelly casperson where we talk about how to increase pleasure and as always remember to take care of yourself because you're worth it

Dr.

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