a word of warning these thirst tweets are hilarious so buckle up but also buckle up because i'm going on tour prepare for laughs fun and an amazing night out deets below at doctormikelive.com let's get started nina wow do you like sleeping me too we should do it that's pretty good do you think that's a picture yeah well nina comes in with a second one you're so hot even my pants are falling for you i just have some follow-up questions nina are they falling off the hanger are they clean pan are they clear are they clean pants no clean pam you're being clean cam dr mike can give me a big long hard strong and heavy hug at any time it was supposed to be thirsty but then it turned out to be just really sweet very sweet kind of loving hey doc i came in to discuss some preventive health care but every time you walk in here i get premature ventricular contractions want to test the strength of my heart over dinner i like that one because i learned something what did you learn that premature ventricular contractions are things about a heart that's true they are they're part of your electrical cardiac rhythm would you be the c to my g or the a to my t sam we need a lifeline aren't those like the genetic code um oh my god that's my high school biology coming through wow like attica the movie gattaca with jude law has like you know the sequencing gene sequencing why does he know that i'm sorry but he just got so much hotter and i want you both to switch places right now oh my god how did you know that i am actually turned on wow she wants me to be her dna yeah we could be dna together she wants a child is what she's saying read them read them to my face i want uncomfortable eye contact this one's no words so i'm gonna act it out for you i think that's what that is what dr mike can write and fill my script for vitamin d little did you know you don't need a prescription for vitamin d it's over-the-counter you can get that vitamin d over the counter my friend or just a little bit of sun time dr mike i've been diagnosed with the lack of serotonin dopamine and what's that word mate and oxytocin but i believe i saw you with a package that may just maintain my long-term cure but why why are they low with all the neurotransmitters you should also see a doctor doc do you do virtual chest compressions because i feel my heart beating faster when i watch you it's like you haven't learned anything watching my channel you don't do chest compressions when someone as hard as beating it's only one's hormones someone's heart has stopped home okay okay okay roses are red violets are blue you make my heart skip i think i have mobitz type too oh they definitely used that before because that's too good well but type 2 is a heart block it's funnier when i know it's a second degree heart block place i would love to be right now at the beach sipping a fresh drink or on dr mike's lap yeah that sounds as a better idea do i sound like santa claus dr mike could break my ribs while giving me chest compressions and i'd honestly thank him yes if you do chest compressions and you break someone's ribs they should thank you that means you're doing them right and you're saving lives i'd love to get my flu shots with dr mike and get a lollipop after but now that i'm older can i get i give stickers i don't get lollipops so shocking was there an emoji or a word a letter or word full word spelled out but now that i'm older can i get this skin flavored lollipop [Applause] [Music] i don't know a word in this one polydipsia ninja thirsty do i have polydipsia or am i just looking at real doctor mike too often oh that's good you gotta get checked for diabetes though polyuria or polydipsia you know polyurias is that repeat a lot yeah i'm basically a doctor okay dr mike makes me miss the days when the flu shot were applied with the pants down oh no i don't need the flu shot but i have no objection against the pants down part did they used to give flu shots with your pants down i don't know i always pull my pants down when i'm getting i just hope you find you're forever find the person who makes you whole ps make lots of those gorgeous babies i want to i hope all of mike's babies come out looking like me i would legit let dr mike take all of my organs and lie on the operating table and say thank you so many questions dr mike could punch me or step on me and i'd still thank him all of these people are like you could do whatever and i'd still say please and thank you but why dr mike could hit me with his car and drag me to the clinic just to do compressions and i would thank him also i got my flu shot but i could always use another injection this one's just a question and it's who gets more attention from the ladies dr mike or the bear pup the bear pop bear puppy bear by far by far even on dates it's like where's bear i'm like hi hi hi i've been sick and throwing up lately so i decided to take a pregnancy test and it came out positive but i'm pretty sure my parents are gonna be mad but knowing that dr mike is the father makes me feel a lot better oh my god that is the creepiest thing ever i read it in a creepy voice which i don't think helped wishing i could trade places with one of dr mike shirts for a day them arms though that's cute you okay they're counting did you see how do you feel did you hear it well it cracked yeah yeah what is that sound i just cracked it was my arm it was like up here no it was down there it was definitely not it might have been my elbow it was in the auricular area that's not what that is pam i want to be the mylon sheath to your axon she wants to cuddle me how can someone schedule a prostate exam asking for a friend that's a butthole right yes i mean the prostate's not a butthole but in order to do it we have to go through the anus bears had a few moms but i'm trying to be his last lock it down and a few he didn't have a few moms he had a couple of moms a couple and a few are the same thing no they're not you triggered him i'm pretty sure my ideal weight is dr mike on top of me that's cute i like that one amy you're in the lead i'm thirsty which means i'm dehydrated so i need to grab a glass of water oh you meant that kind of thirst i like that one it's innocent to be honest i feel like dr mike would be sweet and kind as a partner and i just crave that you know oh i need that too not even gonna lie i see you in my dreams i like that one that's cute are you my heart i'm ready to take a beating i like it i do too what oh what what this one what seriously i would like to test the strength of my reusable straw on you do you get it where would the straw oh no i didn't know i thought maybe she was saying i'm a tall glass of water how do i get dr mike to crush me with his thighs with the same tenacity he crushes misinformation with oh asking for a friend i love that one emily emily i would never crush you with mine but he does crush misinformation but i do crush misinformation which i love i'm learning how to hit on you based off of these tweets yeah 100 i feel pretty confident in my abilities right now okay yeah oh hey i was gonna grab one of those but if you need it that's cool oh i actually did need this cucumber but if you want it you can have it thanks where are you from uh literally two blocks from here no way what do you what do you do there i'm an actuary actuary okay so you deal with like numbers and stuff actually i still don't know um but i tell men that because i'm a comedian and i didn't want to have to talk oh because i was going to give you a math problem you didn't think you were going to ask me a follow-up question just one plus one equals what not a clue two oh like you know [Music] cucumber if you want to get to know pam better click here for her story point with me or if you want to get to know me better my personality check me out taking a personality test which one's better honestly i'm curious about how this turns out exactly click it and as always stay happy and healthy and thirsty and fabulous and fabulous