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doctor-reacts-to-the-wildest-health-products

Doctor Reacts To The WILDEST Health Products

I've reacted to onion headlines in the past but apparently the onion has created some amazing medical breakthroughs I'm going to react to those as well as to a video that Sam says maybe about me that'll be at the end so stay tuned for that huge thanks to grammarly for sponsoring this video be horal introduces new chili formula for mothers who can't produce own chili first of all I have to point out mothers don't produce chili if they did I'd be working them up for a condition that is probably going to be named after me cuz it's never been described in the textbook like let's say they're pregnant and instead of breast milk they produce breast chili chili breast syndrome CBS you have a new home Columbia broadcasting station it's actually chili breast syndrome and has nothing to do with the temperature American Medical Association introduces new highly effective Placebo doctors I'm about to say something terrible isn't that what naturopaths are oh he said it he said it how dare you sir he said it but this is an onion video we're allowed to be comedic funsies are allowed Disney plus debuts new Star Wars show about Yoda battling testicular cancer what does Yoda even have testicles someone is definitely going to say like obviously they just used the lightsaber to go slow it and gently do an orchiectomy and they saved his spermatogenesis I probably had to say that out of order the balls saved within me are of utmost value to everyone around me scientists develop even more painful form of female conscious setion see we talked about yo that fake IUD looks Fierce and scary that looks like if an IUD had a baby with a thorn horn Bush or a rose bush I regularly pick things like that off of the dogs and it's not an IUD I promise new TLC show follows the life of man who is 5 lbs overweight that is now the future with these glp1 agonists he chooses to skip the gym for the third day in a row and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that sounds like my last few days I've been slacking especially this Father's Day because you know I am a father to two NOS Glade introduces new meat freshener spray ew an easy way to take the putrid stench out of expired goods are you okay you know what's funny glade probably has some antibacterial properties cuz it has some alcohol content in it at least I'm that's what I'm assuming but please don't Don't Spray your meat to make it taste better never thought I'd say that on this channel lanc introduced produces new full body moisturizing crisalis is that a cocoon mhm M this reminds me of like when all these Fitness Bros are all in their hyperbaric chambers cocooning and healing with the high pressure environment and look for some wounds maybe but for the claims that people like uh our good old friend Al came poly I know you don't know who long k p is and has nothing to do with the Ben Stiller movie Al k p is my new nickname for liver King because liver King is very obviously still on steroids I think he's admitted to it now and one of the side effects is creating a lot of red blood cells also known as polycythemia vera so you could see how doctor humor gets lost in the general population and also makes it hard to make regular people laugh on the street Logitech introduces High Resistance keyboard for Fitness Ty yo I have diesel fingers no no actually you know that Marquez on his podcast has a competition where people see how fast they can type the whole alphabet and he sprung it on me on a day that I didn't sleep and I had no caffeine or maybe too much caffeine I can't remember I still finished like an eighth place out of like 20 something people tell him Scott you type quick I feel like he practiced it how fast can you type the alphabet Bou and LOM introduce new rib contacts for extra pleasure that would be like having a foreign sensation in the eye and that's a legit review of systems thing that would flag for me and I would want to investigate for a corneal abrasion but hear me out if you're you're an alien and you come to the globe first of all you look and you just say what f is going on here but then number two someone comes up to you and says hey there's this company it's called Bou and LOM eyewear company condom company IO condom Bou LOM sounds condom fight me in the comments Trojan introduces new contraceptive f for charming sperm vaginal Canal the small wooden flute when played correctly is capable of enchanting up to 99% of spat zoa leading to them junly and safely away from the nearest egg do you think that's how the egg gets the sperm to come to it it plays like a little Melody for them Drano introduces new shampoo for eliminating drain clogging hair at the source oh your hair slides off right off your burning scalp but yeah if it falls off your scalp it's going to fall right into the shower drain they didn't think this through Drano and a product like this exists it's called nare one of my very first patients in residency was a patient who overused nare in their private parts and caused a significant chemical burn first day of residency came in I was like let's go okay let's go hims now selling bags of chips for depressed impotent losers who are also hungry for those who don't know himms is a company that remotely sells I guess access to teley medicine services and then prescription medications I'm not particularly a fan of the model just because it creates all these like ethical dilemmas and actually stops patients from talking to doctors about more serious conditions like when it comes to erectile dysfunction when a patient comes in to discuss that that's one of the biggest signs that something could be going on in their vascular system that's also affecting their heart so like the erectile dysfunction is the jumping off point to talk about heart health whereas if they use one of these websites it's easy to miss that you know I honestly think the onion has some of the funniest writing on the internet and while I'm not nearly as funny as they are I do get some help with my writing thanks to grammarly premium's AI tools you see grammarly is an AI writing partner that works where you work so you can craft quality writing faster across different platforms no more copying and pasting like other AI tools after using the free version for years I've upgraded to grammarly premium which has some awesome new features strategic suggestions is definitely one of my favorites because that actually helps me improve my writing after I finish the draft I can ask grammarly to review things and suggest ways to make it more impactful or even clearer to the reader I'm always trying to make my scripts about complex medical information easier to understand and grammarly definitely helps me with that my speed has also increased significantly thanks to app actions which allowed me to share a script that I'm working on with my producer Sam all from the body of the email itself I don't have to manage 50 open tabs anymore to send things to my team it's such a timesaver 96% of grammarly users report that grammarly helps them craft more impactful writing and I'm no different click the link below to sign up for free and then upgrade to grammarly premium to level up your productivity like I did all right let's get back to the onion new hormone free IUD Wards off sperm with steady emission of please great pepper spray God that's got to hurt why pepper spray weren't they using like tear gas for years patients have been able to choose between a pro gtin based or copper IUD but soon they'll have a new option that leaves sperm burning in pain I've heard some news on the horizon of a potential male hormonal gel as a form of birth control if we're running with this idea I guess it would blind the sperm and if the sperm can't figure out where they're going they'd get lost I don't think it's effective I need to see the clinical trial date show me the receipts Q-tip introduces new multi-speed electric GE swap honestly this is definitely going to come out I'm definitely going to have to make a hate video about it why are people obsessed about digging in their ears I know it's to itch you can't scratch but like get a massage go for a jog create something don't dig in your ear it's only going to cause a problem cardier introduces new diamond encrusted gastri laen oh God that's got to hurt the lap band already like has a potential side effect but now it's going to be biting into your pyloric sphincter with its diamonds just cutting it bleeding it I bet one of the Contra indications to the cardier lapan is being on a blood thinner the diamonds are so high in probability in cutting your stomach that you have a high risk of bleeding you can't take blood thinners always introduces off-roading maxi pads with 40% more shock absorption you know who that's for people who jump on those pogo sticks that have the mono seat and they just jump on it that's probably valuable oh you know what that could be good for people who go mountain biking I swear when I take my like hybrid road bike out in the streets of Manhattan that has really bad concrete if you want to put this into one of my biking shorts I wouldn't be against it Oscar Meyer introduces new filter tip hot dogs for healthier meat eating experience we need like Oscar Meyer introduces glp1 hot dogs where they have glp1 medications inside them that you could take orally without needing an injection that would be a treat there's actually a whole line of foods that I believe that are being put out marketed towards people who are using glp1 medications a full line REI introduces fleece supplements to insulate digestive tra for those very cold digestive tracts keep them warm keep them soft I would say it is why can't I think of the word it starts with the S carapate why did I say s oh sucral fate sucral fate is basically insulating fleece for your stomach It Coats it it protects it especially if you have some like ulceration happening as a result of nids non stoal anti-inflammatory drugs TS introduces new sternly worded note reminding consumers they know better than to eat that stuff the best method of heartburn relief remains having some godamn self-control and saying no to that fourth SLI of be especially when it's too close to bedtime so TS is now in the disciplinary side of things as opposed to the calcium carbonate of it all when you mix acid with calcium carbonate it reduces the pH or it increases the pH making it more basic one of the side effects is you burp Tums can give you gas Invisalign begins offering clear body shell system to gradually straighten posture it's like Bubble Boy but for posture and you don't need perfect posture ideal teeth placement could be beneficial so that you don't develop jaw problems headaches face shape changes but posture should be about physical therapy not about a pot Midol introduces new leather strap to bite down during menal cramps that's dark there's been a lot of talk how folks are not given enough medication during pap smears and certain other gynecological procedures might all would use this product for it no that ain't okay Hines introduces new quick recovery Sports catch Hines already has electrolytes and this thing has caffeine oh my God it's like Prime but on a burger 3M introduces new line of protective foam eye plugs they already make eye protection you don't need foam eye plugs by the way earplugs need a redesign I don't like the whole like roll it in your ear Jam like can we have an outer thing where I don't need to stick things in my ear I feel like that just creates ear wax problems 3M get on it Cliff bar introduces new Savory Cliff loaf I hate the term the word the noun loaf no one's ever said loaf to me and I went yum TS introduces new deep dish anti acid pizza oh what's an anti- acid Pizza Tums has introduced some weird products like mixed berry tums like uh do we need mixed berry can it just stay normal kex introduces new confetti popper tampons ringing in the new year that's actually a similar design shape well done CeX doctor reacts to video of his own death wow okay so as an ER doctor I've seen a lot of injuries like this it's hard to say exactly what is going on it's not hard to say there's a person who has a head trauma bleeding extensively is non-verbal is turning cyanotic and you need to see if they have a pulse and if not you should should call for help and immediately start chest compression chest compression chest compression since this hasn't happened to me yet and it's hard to get a clear view of the injury too because of my wife sobbing over my LMP body which I do appreciate but the first thing I noticed is that I'm experiencing a whole lot of blood loss which hopefully means I died instantly without any awareness of what was happening he someone called 911 and quickly because you can actually see my breath starting to slow down now as the lungs fill up with blood and that's a problem because when your breath slows down in the midst of you losing blood that means you're giving up not by choice but because there's a problem I can feel now that the end is nearing as all the memories and regrets flood my mind this is probably the point where I would start panicking why does he have a Band-Aid wrongs side out on his hand I'll scream no no please not now not here or not like this all very common for someone so close to his inevitable demise is this what do to my own I swear if I'm a ghost I'm going to do a react video to my own passing what I'm really curious about is when this does happen to me a few years from now you're wearing that same shirt champ and the same weird Band-Aid the question is do you think that's inspired from Dr Mike I can't take the credit for it it's either a parody of wired or Dr Ed H hopei notes giving you credit Doc you deserve it in fact he was on my podcast which you could check out by clicking here and as always stay happy and and healthy [Music]

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