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quotdoctors-of-redditquot-2-weirdest-patient-stories

&quot;Doctors Of Reddit&quot; #2 | WEIRDEST Patient Stories

nurse here had a patient accuse me of sitting in her bed and threatened to sue me for malpractice keynote she never got out of her bed that was good hey guys what is going on today we're gonna be doing another reddit thread specifically a really funny one that i just came across today doctors have read it what is the weirdest thing a patient wouldn't admit to you i'm going to answer the question right now and then we're going to look at everyone else's answers give feedback give reactions all that good stuff are you ready as you know part of my medical advice is to not put anything into your ears smaller than your elbow what i'm trying to say in not so eloquent terms don't put anything into your ears like into into your ears what the cotton swabs or q-tips as you know them are meant to be is for outside cleaning but then everyone likes that sensation of scratching the inside of their ear it feels so good tickle tickle tickle that is no bueno you actually end up doing damage to the inside of your ear with that you start irritating that area and that creates a breeding ground for bacteria one lovely day patient come in on my schedule ear pain right ear do you use q-tips no any water in your ears no so i look inside the left ear nothing there ear looks good obviously as expected then we go into the right ear what do i see an otitis externa it's basically an infection of your ear canal like the skin inside your ear but what i see a little bit further inside the ear is cotton cotton don't belong in your ears i don't know why i did an accent but it don't belong there i pull out the piece of cotton and i'm like do you want to see it the patient goes yeah i do and they think i'm about to show them a piece of wax whip it out and they get so embarrassed because obviously i'm showing them that i know that they've been using q-tips it was a kind of a funny moment we got a good laugh out of it that a guy with a spider bite on his tongue was actually eating spiders like on purpose oh my god i mean like i know insects have good protein and there's like grasshopper protein bars now but spiders not a doctor here but a patient admitted to me that she was stuck on the toilet seat for three days but suctioned into the toilet seat upon asking when was the last time she ate she said this morning i said how turns out her husband was home the whole time and she threatened him not to call the paramedics the husband was literally delivering her food and water i don't know what their end game here was oh man i could see how embarrassing that is but oh call the firefighters or something had a mother bring in her sevenish year old kid who locked a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs around his hands she kept saying he found them on the street and he would get mad and say i told you mom i found them in your room she would just completely ignore that why would you go to the hospital i think i would call police or like a firefighter or something what are we gonna do in the hospital i am a vet student many clients like to say i don't over feed my dog or cat that's just their normal size when their pet looks like a watermelon oh i see that a lot in the park they say i barely feed him any dog food he doesn't like it but then you see at dinner time they're feeding him mozzarella chicken cheese snickers i'm like what are you doing chocolate's poison to dogs spider loves chocolate only work records in a clinic but we had a woman come in with a report of vaginal odor all well and good it happens all the time in an ob gyn clinic or family medicine what she hadn't bothered to say was that she'd gotten a tampon stuck around the end of her last period however she's gone through menopause seven years earlier but how the remote control to a zenith television wound up in the rectum of a 54 year old father of two they stopped making zenith television sets years ago from a medical perspective why do you still own this remote i can literally smell the smoke on your clothes and breath see the nicotine stains on your fingers and you're trying to tell me you quit smoking 10 years ago that actually happens a lot when patients come in for a physical that is mandated by a life insurance company it's well known that if you admit to a life insurance company that you smoke you get higher premiums people lie and try and tell the doctor that that's the case but now we have a blood test and a urine test that we can check and see if you actually do smoke i guess some people can argue that and say their secondhand smoke but we know nurse here had parents bring their three-year-old son to the emergency department for one month of abdominal pain that kept getting worse i ask all the routine questions for this complaint lots of questions about poop bloody diarrhea mucus when was the last one changes they deny any other concerning symptoms but abdominal pain we do blood work ultrasound x-ray everything comes back normal but the kid is intermittently screaming in pain curled in a ball over the next five hours i continue to repeat the same questions i asked repeatedly if there was anything else going on that they could think of nope i bring in the discharge paperwork and i'm about to start going over the instructions and the dad goes you know for the past three months he's had a lot of worms in his poop worms effing worms you spent six hours denying worms i literally just turned around and walked out of the room without saying a word i was laughing almost to the point of tears could not wait to tell my resident deworming medications a load of waste of time and they were on their way worms can happen they're parasites they live in their digestive tract and it's just a simple medication away from being treated actually one of the tests that we do for worms is called the scotch tape test you may not have heard of it but we literally put a piece of scotch tape on the butt hole area i don't know why i said it separate like that but we put it there can't stop laughing i don't normally laugh when i say butthole but i can't say certain words because of the youtube demonetization algorithm so not only am i trying to sound medically accurate but i also have to watch my words because of the algorithm so the butt space hole you put the scotch tape there and then the worms lay eggs so that when we take the scotch tape off overnight we can look at under a microscope and say oh look worm eggs they're there it's positive and we can treat it the more you know about holes a teacher once told me a story about a lady who brought her young child into the emergency department complaining that the child was sick from eating ants the doctor struggled to see how that would make her sick it wasn't until after some time and the child beginning to get very sick that the mom said she gave her own child and poison to kill the ants she ate then told the doctors it must be the ants not the poison oh my god if that's true do not eat and poison moral of the story i can give you that medical advice and not get in trouble when i sedate kids they have to be npo for eight hours before meaning no food for eight hours so i always ask if they had anything to eat or drink in the morning parents never want to admit their kid ate or drank even when i remind them it's very important because if they vomit and aspirate they could die meaning choke on their own vomit because when you're sedated you don't have good gag reflexes that if you're choking on something you'd spit it out or vomit it out so imagine you're vomiting you don't have good gag reflexes you could easily inhale the stuff often they try to minimize it and say that it was just a few bites but the one kid walked in eating a bag of cheetos at reception and then the parent insisted to me that they hadn't eaten yeah i'm a hundred percent not sedating your child today there's plenty of times that a patient comes in they need blood work i tell them okay make sure you don't eat they get their blood work they come back i look at their blood tests i'm like oh my god you're so diabetic you're young how are you so diabetic you weren't diabetic you know six months ago and they're like oh was i not supposed to eat i admitted a guy for chest pain as part of the workup i did a urine drug screen which came back positive for cocaine after the rest of his cardiac workup was negative i said to him good news you didn't have a heart attack it's likely that your chest pain was caused by cocaine his answer i didn't use cocaine see i was at a party and people had some lines of cocaine out on the table and as i was walking by an oscillating fan blew the cocaine into my face which is why my urine was positive i've said before on my channel why you need to be really honest with drug use when you're talking to your doctor because there's many times medications interact treatments interact and unless we know fully what's going on we may actually do more harm than good to you not a doctor but a nurse medical professionals we're opening it up to medical professionals had a patient come in with a toothpick in his penis refused to tell me how he got in there insisting he was picking his teeth and it fell in oh man i feel like there's always going to be some kind of weird thing that a patient came in tried to insert into themselves one way or another and they tell a really interesting story because they're embarrassed to tell you the truth don't be embarrassed doctors are humans too we do weird stuff all the time i mean not me but you know other doctors not a doctor but work in the er one day some pretty young parents brought their toddler in because he was super lethargic and not responding to any stimuli and the parents said they had no idea why the staff were pretty concerned for him because those symptoms are a pretty big red flag for small kids so we started running a bunch of tests including a drug screen which ended up being positive for thc main ingredient marijuana the doc goes and talks to the parents about and they finally broke down and admitted that the kid had eaten an entire bottle of their weed gummies while they weren't paying attention a few hours earlier and he was just high oh my god that's so dangerous we need to be careful with this kind of stuff this is why tide pods like we we know of tide pods because the tide pod challenge but tide pods are actually really dangerous and cause severe issues in very young children because if they're kept in a low enough area and there's a three-year-old running around he sees a colorful thing that looks like candy puts it in his mouth emergency room i can't tell you how many immaculate conceptions i've seen in teenage girls with the overbearing religious parents the crazy thing is how tightly the parents stick to the story that she never had sex but somehow got pregnant i get it you like are lying to yourself so that you don't displease the you know your faith that kind of stuff doesn't bode well for physicians because we're trying to deliver quality care and we're trying to not be judgmental but if you're gonna lie to us and mislead us we may hurt the person that we're trying to save swinging richard three i evaluated a patient for acute abdominal pain in the ed no pe physical exam findings were noted and the patient's vitals were all within normal limits i then ordered some plain films which is an x-ray which showed an incandescent light bulb lodged in the rectum when questioned about how the light bulb got into his rectum he stated he was working outside in the garage and fell off a ladder he was then sent to the operating room where the bulb was removed without any complications some days i love my job a light bulb first of all incandescent light bulb how does it not shatter a and b why in reality yeah people sometimes feel embarrassed and don't tell the truth that's why you need to be a good communicator as a doctor to sort of feel and sense these things out as a patient the advice that i would give to you for the future please be honest with your doctors if you don't tell us about a specific drug you've taken or activity you've done we can actually harm you we can even kill you in certain circumstances the more honest you can be the better care you're gonna get i'm gonna be telling my crashing a car spider story soon and that's gonna be me admitting something really bad to ambulance drivers firefighters and all that so i'm not afraid to share some of my most embarrassing stories come on for god's sakes i told you guys i pooped in my pants so many times as a kid check out my mother's day video for that if you have any good reddit threads you want me to look through and discuss on this channel drop them down below in the comments share them on my subreddit which is linked down below we can talk about it we can get some education have a good laugh smiles all that good stuff and check out this playlist right here that i created especially for you as always stay happy and healthy

Dr.

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