If you participated in this roast, thank you so much for giving me some good laughs! I think it's important to be able to hear negative ...

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Roast Me For $1,000 | Doctor Mike

I would roast you but my mom said I'm not supposed to burn trash oh it's a good one all right the time has come for you to roast me so type your most creative there I say meanest roast right here in this box and I'm gonna pick a winner to get a thousand dollars donated to a charity of their choice I hope people keep it PG though just for the sake of D monetization at least and my feelings your nose looks like the beak of a bald eagle my phone battery last longer than your relationships what my previous previous relationship was like two years you honestly look like the human version of lactose intolerance your feelings of inadequacy stem from the fact that you're Russian and your dad never loved you and you'll never that's it they ran out of critters thank God you were any more inbred you'd be a sandwich doctor Mike's picture profile makes it seem that he just killed a human your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous I don't even have a bush yet like pick something real actually I'm a little self-conscious that my eyebrow eyebrows aren't thinking of why are you laughing dad you're all like this one your shirts are so tight that they could give you chest compression Mike seems like the type of guy to tell you he does CrossFit no I'm not a fan not that I don't recommend you do it I just don't like doing simultaneously different exercises especially ones that you need good form for oh I'm taking a poll on what's gonna go first your 15 minutes of IG fame or that airlock you look like you were very insecure as a kid that's not a bird but it's quite accurate let me get something straight but it can't be your nose do you even speak Russian bro diag of I do Peru ski is the ship roasting me I love what you have done with your hair how'd you get it to come so far out of your nostrils you look at the type of guy to wash his hands after taking a shower that's a weird one I like it you look like the type of guy to wash his hands after the shower first of all I'm not that type of guy but it makes sense I don't even know why it makes sense I like it dr. Mike shirt buds are so unwilling to pop off we should call them UK is that because of like brexit someone said your dentist you use boy emojis I do that's probably accurate your forehead is so big it's a five head now I'm sorry you made me do it Brooke I got a high five to four the five head has a medical degree forgets Molly Burke is blind mid video dog oh my god that wasn't one of the most embarrassing moments probably on camera I feel bad Molly I'm sorry I did that I would roast you but my mom said I'm not supposed to burn trash oh it's a good one your videos are just as bad and entertaining as essential oils are I carried this yes that's what I was waiting for it's time to get extra size shirts mussels don't attract women or men anymore we want deke dek I don't know what deep dr. Mike the type of guys to get us caught condom Taylor before you see when dr. Mike flexes his arms they look like SpongeBob's arms the Spongebob have diesel arms or no oh come on I like you people say I have no taste but I like you see that's funny but that's from somewhere Oh someone said I suck at apex yeah yeah play me real dr. Mike that's my username season 3 god already like 10 wins under my belt the only who genuinely loves you for more than your looks or credentials is your dog Roxie oh that's a burn of my exes the only chest workout dr. Mike does is when someone is dying chest compressions what are you kidding me it's always chests day on Monday were you born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen I don't think you're factually accurate I can't believe I'm critiquing this but I think most accidents happened within one mile of your home and not on highways burn on you ma'am I'm not saying that I hate you but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone so you won't have any more me bridge not gonna lie you could sell advertising space on your forehead by the mile Oh Oh laying down those highway jokes on me you look like Danny DeVito if you worked at GNC maybe you should slip into something more comfortable than your scrubs like a coma oh this one hurts you look like the kind of person who reminded the teacher to assign homework I hated that person you're so needy for attention uh validation like we get it you have a small step might be time to stop buying shirts and children's sizes no children sizes you only hate medical dramas for romance because you're lonely see if you spelled your right I would say you're one of the top ones but no grammar no love I get lonely where are your eyebrows at the beginning looking like a decapitated caterpillar oh why did my wife leave me but just randomly asked me that you look like you wear socks with sweaty pizza but like where did you get a bicycle seat looking jawline like who you look like you sold out the pub the salon of pomade I don't use pomade brah do you see any shiny this pillow to come from me while I read these they say you can't be smart handsome turns out they were right you told us that exercise will add years to our life you're right I feel older already so you're not roasting me you gotta roast me not the exercise mishka's that's my name in russian music Mishka septum is so crooked it could be a politician in Chicago that's a double bird burning me and a politicians in Chicago if your family were Star Wars figures you'd be the special edition that's just me your hairline is so deep people could see what you're thinking hashtag dr. Blake let's look at that airline you look like you dumped your modeling career and decide to play doctor I love your videos and you but you are a walking flu shot I'm a young Canadian I can't be mean your face looks like a Pentagon if a Pentagon had a smile off you're just a doctor for the prostate exams can you imagine I wonder who's smarter a guy who always says chest compressions or a blender doctor Mike I've never smoked doctor Mike's laugh smoke for a hundred sixty four years and vape the last three don't make fun of my wheeze you talk like a grown toddler for real doctor Mike can't compete with James Charles when it comes to pole dancing this is quite true dr. Mike you are like a piece of salmon sashimi beautiful oily and smelly if left out in the Sun well I you have the personality of a regurgitated cookies and cream milkshake do I think that would still be delicious still like a little gross but still at its heart and soul you know it's good of the personality of a dried asparagus why does your hair look like an old ass toothbrush so funny I know you're a doctor but chest compressions won't save that hairline bought some fat oh they're coming in dude you look like you smell like beef tips some beef tip we're gonna do a poll I had like eight favorites so far but narrowing it down to five was hard and there's only 65 characters in here so I have to shorten them all right so it's 8:30 7 p.m. and I'm gonna have everyone vote on it for 23 minutes all right you guys have spoken and he was spoken quite loudly you look like the type of guy to wash his hands after a shower has won by a significant margin 59% it looks like the person who said that the shower joke his name is Jerry is good double-oh-seven one two let's shoot a message a DM - Jerry oh my god he's messaged me a whole bunch hello there Jerry I'm gonna put like an angry cat face I'm gonna guess he responds quickly I don't know I just think he's gonna respond quickly if he doesn't this is gonna ruin the whole joke I guess I didn't take this into consideration that Jerry might not be by his phone where art thou go on Jerry where you got oh he's from Luxembourg that's a fancy country so our good friend Jeremiah his name's that Jeremiah Jerry but he's in Luxembourg and I just looked up the time it's 2:00 a.m. over there and I guarantee you he's not following my advice probably playing in his phone before bedtime wrote the meanest yet wittiest comment towards me now he's not answering my DMS so I figure we shut down production for tonight and wait for him to answer tomorrow and maybe I even face tight with him all right it's officially a day later and we've managed to find Jerry back on the gram he just wrote I live in Florida mate oh that's dope want some whoops want some good news [Music] come on Jerry we didn't really think this one through can i video chat you oh wait how old are you wait oh this is gonna come off real weird I can't do that you won the contest for best roast I'm Steve he's even excited for this I feel like he's answering me like I'm a creeper I'm not a creeper Jerry he goes I feel like you've been hacked I'm not hacked are you down to be in the YouTube video it feels like I'm tricking him but I'm not tricking him up all I want to ask him on camera is what charity does he want me to donate a thousand bucks to come on Jerry he saw it come on type something by the way team trees what up I heard a lot of musk is about to give a Mille to the cause that's exciting there do you want to be on team trees okay Jerry's typing I'm sorry I'm not down to do that I just don't feel comfortable okay okay I can respect that either way you win what charity would you like for me to donate the 1k to I've never seen anyone get so spooked by a doctor reaching out to them and asking where they want to donate money to stalkers something would the American Red Cross be okay yeah considering we just collide with them literally a few days ago donate now $1,000 sure that sure yeah it works I don't wanna do thinking of you that's weird congratulations maybe by getting this email from the Red Cross he's gonna buy that I gave $1000 donation he goes oh my god that's so cool I'm so glad that I got to chat to you over text thanks so much thanks Jerry we appreciate your disks team trees challenge is going amazingly well I'm repping the gear if you want to see my team trees video which is a meme video click here or do you want to see what a day in my life is like click here and I'll see you in one of these videos staying happy and healthy [Music]

Dr.

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