I was a overweight person in school and there were these bad incidents which I can never get out of my head I think after my board exam I my mom wanted to give me a treat so she took me to this uh clothing store and in the trial room the L size was very tight for me the lady who helped around I just asked her saying can you have the next size so she mockingly gave a reply to me saying that if you want a bigger size then this probably you should go to the factory outlet they always used to be these body shaming episodes even when I started out media like did it all like yoga Zumba dance aerobics everything I would just excitedly go workout then I would just have some salads and fruits all day long or sometimes not eat for hours together but it would lead to some gastritis problem acidity problem and a whole lot of side effects hello guys welcome to another session of our podcast gut feeling with Dr pal today we have a very interesting personality I absolutely love talking with her her name is VJ Rama she's a VJ she's an actress she is a fitness Enthusiast so we talked about a lot we talked about her fitness journey about body positivity body shaming how important it is for a women to adopt strength training tips and tricks where you can include right away into your life on a daily basis I learned a lot more importantly I absolutely loved her mindset I wish I had that mindset stay tuned till the end of the podcast I guarantee you you're going so I'm very happy with the way I look and I just want to push myself for the next best strength I can achieve today if I'm able to do about 60 kgs of squat my target is oh I wish I can do 70 kg squat it's not anymore about a particular number on the ve scale or it's not about me going to have flat abs uh I know those things are not sustainable I I always say that weight loss journey is a little bit tough for women it's because of the hor uh you know I always talk about circadian rythm for men it's relatively EAS have testosterone you have estrogen proone everything I envy men they just come to the gym work out and immediately the shirt size is tighter I'll have to like lift and lift and lift and my muscle increase will be like5 to 1 kg in a year hello Ria hi doctor lovely to see you in India welcome to India and welcome to chenai thank you so much thank you so much thank you so much for your time of course know I've been a huge fan of you following all the good work that you've been doing thank you means a lot means a I'm a fan of you also Mutual admiration oh thank you thank you so I want to start this podcast by uh letting people know which may they might not they might not have known before okay that you are a winner in a powerlifting competition yeah yeah yes yes I am I think people know about it that's where everything began I see so I've always been somebody because being in the job that I am in the media M it's very important to look thin back in the day so I used to do the crash diet I used to do excessive exercising go to random gyms and just work out run on the treadmill everything and nothing seemed to work and then uh about easily 78 years back the concept of nothing seemed to work is nothing seemed to weight would change for 2 days it'll come back to square one or uh it would really bring my mood levels down uh hair fall started there was too many side effects and I was not seeing a consistent difference in my body this is when um about 7 years back I uh got into this functional fitness which was a very New Concept back then CrossFit functional fitness hit all of this uh was started by this place called the unit which is not there anymore but 7 years back I just went and I was walking rather in my area and there's an open space where people were working out using barbles and kettle bills and I've never seen those things before so I got very excited I went for a trial class and the next day I couldn't walk I couldn't come down my stairs I couldn't get out of my bed I couldn't sit in my Western toilet it was that bad uh my soreness was terrible but when I spoke to the tutor then she said uh this is just the beginning of it uh soreness is normal it's just that you've started finally working out and your body is seeing these Sensations and then I became addicted towards it so I was pushing myself a lot and I could really see uh the muscle in my body performing well making me feel strong not just physically but also mentally it was such a big change uh the mood the elevation I I became responsible for myself I wanted to get into a discipline I wanted to eat right preserve my muscle do the right things in the direction did you know about all this before not at all it was all a journey journey that took me to powerlifting also when when she started seeing how passionate I became about Fitness and from where I started in about 6 months there was a complete transformation in my Approach towards life she said I think you should do this because in the space that you are where people are uh seeing you as an example doing things if you as a woman women are not uh perceptually women are not identified with powerlifting and things like that leave alone powerlifting even if you go to a gym it's gone there so when I did this and that time the participants were like four five people along with me and when I could do a bench when I could do a deadlift beyond my body weight I think I did about 85 kgs back then squat was about uh 65 kgs uh I I was 55 kgs so all of that gave me the district and state level uh gold and that was identified back then and that became like one shift in my thinking that okay probably I found my purpose this is my area I need to settle into this in 2015 when you went to powerlifting but you just didn't know that you were going to powerlifting you just went for the gym thing yeah no I knew I was going into a powerlifting but it was very overwhelming for me she she just said let's just go my coach was a female trainer she said let's just go so I went and I was the only woman in that room everybody else were men and you know how it is right uh big bodies gym bodies uh the aranan smell coming out of nowhere in a a small Hall and at the minute I went in everybody just turning and looking at me like what is she doing here or maybe she's come to give the trophies for us or something like that but doctor it was so lovely when I actually did my lift there's a procedure you need to follow in powerlifting like you need to wear their shoes there's a particular costume you need to wear your belt and everything go to the stage then there is a jwy member who will call out these instructions and when they say start you need to start when they say Lift you need to lift then you need to hold that position you anything which goes wrong you're disqualified and then only when they say now drop you can drop into a squat you come out of the squat or you do the deadlift bench everything so you have three attempts and only if you get it right in all the three attempts you're qualified to even participate and stand in the competition in that whole Direction and it gets very scary because there's so many people so much happening you're scared it's weights you're handling God forbid something goes wrong there injury but what I loved was because people knew who I I was the minute I went on the stage every man out there wanted me to Wi win and they were cheering it was like the first day first show of watching a Superstar film right they like you can do it come on come on and that adrenaline is what I think pushed me to do the best numbers the the numbers which I wouldn't have probably hit in my deadlift and squat in your gym in my gym I exceeded that I just could do that because of that adrenaline wow uh I loved powerlifting that was a great experience but before powerlifting you did you go to gym regularly to lift weights and everything it was not a gym it was like a open space where in the morning around 5:30 6 we will all gather up it was a group training session so it uh was a session where 45 minutes we had this whole HIIT performance happening slowly that shifted to hypertrophy weight training so every day I would work out one muscle one day it'll be glutes and hamstrings one day it'll be chest and triceps so this became the pattern uh when we heard about something like a powerlifting happening in Chennai that's when that idea came wow wow and um you were inclination to Fitness yeah right so has it been around 2015 or even before that even before that like I started with I started this whole Fitness thing right from the time I was in school in school yeah because I was a overweight person in school and there were these bad incidents which I can never get out of my head where I think after my board exam I my mom wanted to give me a treat so she took me to this uh clothing store and in the the trial room the L size was very tight for me uh so the lady who helped around I just asked her saying can you have the next size so she mockingly gave a reply to me saying that if you want a bigger size than this probably you should go to the factory outlet directly and uh you know ask and they always used to be these body shaming episodes even when I started out media back then that was like one cold incident for me that incident in school so then I would just stop eating I would starve myself all the time how how old were you about 15 15 yeah I would uh get in I would buy only oversized clothes so that I look smaller in those wow I had a big body shaming uh mental experience getting into media at a younger age I was 16 when I got in only made it worser because that's an industry where people just you have the license to comment anything and everything right so the cameraman the director all of them would come to me and say things like uh what's wrong with you you put on so much weight uh do you drink do you have go a party last night is that why your face is looking so puffy and Bloated so that just took me further down and I was just feeling miserable I did it all like yoga Zumba dance aerobics everything I would just excitedly go work out then I would just have some salads and fruits all day long or sometimes not eat for hours together but it would lead to some gastritis problem acidity problem and a whole lot of side effects uh but I really didn't have a ventilation to talk about it nor did I find find a solution for me it was like can I just not be smaller in size can I not do something to be thin that was the thing gym also I tried but until this functional fitness happened I couldn't see any change functional fitness is like uh the last like eight years yeah 2013 I would say 2013 so the reason I'm asking this is you know this is what is happening in America right now where also here where Eating Disorders is extremely common in that age group between 12 to 18 correct uh where similar to stabbing yourself or you know you eat something and then you put your hand inside your mouth to warm everything bulimia right bulimia correct correct and initially when we used to read that in the books it looks like you know is can really happen because we were never exposed when we were here in India but when we go there it was extremely common and I'm glad that you are coming out with all this that it is absolutely important that body shaming is one one thing and also loving your body is an other other aspect as well oh yeah I think it's it starts there uh you firstly need to be very content with where you are and the journey is always going to be there doctor even today there might be 100 people who might uh love to be in my shape and size and want to have ramya's body but ramama is never satisfied with her body she'll only want to push herself for the next level so I'm still not happy I would want to go to the next level but the shift of thinking is back in the day when I was that girl for me it was all about uh if I do that then I'll be happy if I get into that uh ve scale number I'm going to be happy today it is for me an understanding that this is a journey so I'm very happy with the way I look and I just want to push myself for the next best strength I can achieve today if I'm able to do about 60 KS of squat my target is oh I wish I can do 70 kg squat it's not anymore about a particular number on the vein scale or it's not about me going to have flat abs uh I know those things are not sustainable and I'm very uh clear about the fact that it's not just one thing it's not like if I go excessively do some 500 calorie workout in the morning magically my uh you know the number on the scale will change and everything will be fine by the next day it's a combination of my sleep it's a combination of my stress it's a combination of my eating most importantly and yeah exercise is one part of it I feel like um women and men we want everything very short quick fast these days so we just want to like go work out or we just want to starve and see results correct we're not thinking about the other factors which are as important as this absolutely absolutely I I always say that weight loss journey is a little bit tough for women uh it's because of the hormon uh you know I always talk about circadian rythm right and for men it's relatively easier have testosterone you have estrogen progesterone everything I envy men they just come to the gym work out and immediately the shirt size is tighter I'll have to like lift and lift and lift in and my muscle increase will be like5 to 1 kg in a year even if the muscle doesn't increase we put a t-shirt no pain no game yeah tell me about that I envy men in that sense yeah this hormonal thing is a big bummer in a lot of situations because we have to go through that cycle every 28 days in the month and those that's not just even 3 days it's I recently put up real on my Instagram which had about 15 million views in a very short time because people could relate to it it's about please don't judge us by that time dear men that was my caption cuz about 3 4 days before that cycle starts our moods are all over the place we just get anxious we get annoyed and then once the period cycle starts we get depressed our body has cramps we have these feelings which we can't even tell people and nobody's going to understand us and immediately it'll be like a magical shift the minute those 3 day cycles over they're so happy correct so people who are living the family members they'll be thinking like what's wrong with her what's happening but only as women we go through it and that reflects also like you said in the weight so let's say I'm slogging myself for 20 days in my 23rd to 25th day Mark I feel bloated I'm having cramps no matter how hard I'm pushing myself my weighing number is not going down it's up there and then slowly after my period start but now I'm not even able to work out functionally I'm that tired I I just don't have the motivation to do anything right now I'm just lying flat in the bed I want to eat all the time I want want chocolates Cravings Cravings are high up for me in the night especially and then once I finish I'm just seeing that okay the weight loss is finally happening and before I'm happy and content with it I have the next cycle coming up so where do I even like position myself I don't know right if you look at the pathophysiology of it every woman is having a cell dying and then having a rebirth again every month wow right every month because the uterus is expecting uh ovam to be fertilized every month correct and then when that's not happening it's basically distracting the entire thing and the whole thing is starting all over again it's basically a reincarnation kind of thing every single month every single month every single month on the top of it and this is this topic is very passionate to me because I feel like in our Indian Community where Fitness is not to be starting itself Fitness is not talked about a lot and I'm so glad that you are doing from a women's standpoint is because I feel like Fitness has to be talked especially among women right when they get married absolutely right when they get married absolutely and there's lots of research says that when the healthy mom can transfer genetically and also through the uh natural process good G bacteria to the baby I'd say even even before is better no doctor I recently I was watching one of your videos where you said the first 40 years are what you're sewing and you reap the benefits of that later absolutely I I really regret sometimes like I should have started much earlier much earlier the reason I'm saying that in around the marriage age that's where our people around us we feed them so much once they get pregnant look at the face right so pregnancy phe we feed them so much corre thinking that they need more not for the women for the baby yeah if for two people that's what they'll say and once the baby is born they also think that you eat more to feed the baby more and the amount of weight gain that they uh have during the pregnancy it is finding they finding very difficult to take it off because the weight gain is more yeah yeah excessively high around the time women get married actually people are very conscious about the corre people actually it's horrible and it's very sad that some sometimes mothers bring daughters and tell me like uh I want her to get into a certain size so that I can look for a nice groom for her and right in front of the woman there like she's not pretty so nobody wants to get her married she's too fat so nobody wants to get her married the languag in which uh our hereditary parents do really affects the mindset of that little daughter who 18 20 25 and that's going to be carried Generation by generation after that it's very hard to overcome it I'm telling you even now being this person I still can't get out of those comments which were made to me when I was my teen years so I think even the talking the communication how you say it's supposed to be funny like in our films sometimes how the comedian is uh ridiculing other women uh body shaming them or how he is also ridiculed by other people the heroes and everything and that's supposed to be funny and everybody laughs about it I think we should move from that scale I don't see that happening in Bollywood anymore in Malayalam industry anymore it's still happening in our television shows in our movies and I've also been a victim of it back in the day they used to make jokes about my body uh the co-anchor and I used to feel upset but that time doc if you raise your voice and tell them please don't do this they'll say you're not being cool now finally there is a hashtag sing # body shaming # Women rights and all of that so I'm very happy for that but before social media was a different situation H uh if the other day my makeup artist was saying how when she walked into a wedding her longtime friend who has not seen her for so many years immediately comes and says something like and laughs and it really affected her internally you can say if you're out of concern you can say yeah please drop a few kilos it's not healthy for you corre but how you put it across means a lot means a lot that's the body positivity yes kind of thing comes along so in in us where I am uh practicing uh where body positivity is being talked about a lot okay which is which is good in one way Al also bad in other way as well so when I'm see a patient when he is obese and he's having heart disease and I tell them that you know you need to do all the things to lose weight and he's saying that I love my body this is how I'm going to be oh correct but you're a professional H and you see them on the my Google reviews they say Dr pal manik body shamed me this is very similar to my friend who was telling during Co his son was all the time sitting and eating so I believe he said you know you should go out and play and you know face the sunlight look at you you're gaining weight and then he said you're body shaming me and went and shut himself inside the room this is a father talking to the son in a very very concerned manner but like you saying it's it's it's it's just a very thin line between this side and that and I see few patients they really cannot do you know they cannot they do so much of dieting and their physical activity is very limited and because of all the other diseases that's happening it's very difficult to lose weight in a particular set of patients um so that is just a very fine line correct uh what I tell my patients is that you know you love your body first regardless of whatever it is and then all the advises that you're getting you just ingrain your subconscious mind and then slowly your body will change accordingly yeah um so in you you know in our the concept that I'm discussing with you is for our young women correct you know in India uh where they are going through this body uh acceptance uh mechanism what will you tell them what is what will be your suggestion uh I I would totally uh take your comment on this I think first as uh anybody and everybody women are always told you know you need a man in your life you need a dependency on somebody in your life he's the man of the house I think we're moving from that uh level where women are now seen as independent human beings with equality we not asking for anything beyond equality but just equality equality in pay scale equality in education equality in career it's lovely to see in um India so many of our women being Auto drivers and bus drivers and doing the jobs which were once upon a time only done by men so similarly when we are going to see ourselves as individuals I think the starting of everything is we are born alone we are going to die alone so taking care of the body is the basic necessity that we need to do as women irrespective of what comes in the way okay we're going to get married we're going to have a child all of that but how you take care of yourself is also influencing that child when he or she grows up so if you're going to like take all the food in the house which are left as leftovers and put it on you as a dumping Mission and that child watches it it'll think okay this is how as mothers we need to be later uh this is supposed to be sacrificing but it's not M and I think even for a longevity of life for me the bigger question is irrespec of whether you're a man or a woman until you die you need to be functionally on your own correct uh later in your 60s '70s if you have hell a lot of lifestyle diseases and your dependencies is on another person the entire idea of you working slogging so much earning your money everything is nothing correct so it is health is wealth first uh just for that very Factor itself you're a career oriented woman who's all the time very busy or whether you're a young mother who's just out of pregnancy has no time to take care of yourself I think about 45 minutes to 1 hour is not too much to ask for for yourself every single day and that if it is strategically planned and executed based on your lifestyle it can reap hell a lot of benefits in the long run this thinking has to come from inside and I think there should be a support system around M if there are going to be partners in-laws kids who are saying take look after me I am more important it's never going to happen they need to somewhere say this one hour is yours we will be able to handle ourself go do it that talk when it starts coming from the family members it makes a huge difference my demographic is 25 to 45 years okay and mainly women right mainly women the reason that it's mainly women is because of the hormonal we talked about and I always tell them that that one hour that you said if the family is not giving to you you need to come up a friend put put your foot down say I need that one hour I need to take care of myself to take care of others yes absolutely it's it's actually sad that uh men don't have to do these explanations at home but women have to right right it is changing though I can at least give you a little bit of a yeah yeah I hope India catches up to America so soon at least in those you know certain points where you don't have to yeah you we are catching up there catching up there so that one hour so let's say that okay after seeing this podcast a person says Okay I want to become like Ria and I want to it can be better than ra not keep the bar there I want to be do the one hour per day okay yeah where do they start I think simple walking doctor i a a great believer I think you also endorsed me in this of early morning getting up and facing the sunlight I think you were also been saying that absolutely love it I'm a very I've been a morning person right from my birth but it's not in it in a lot of people uh people be to differ they like sometimes saying that as long as you get a workout how how different is it whether it's a.m. or p.m. for me personally if it is in the morning it has a lot of advantages you get that uh difficult thing which you've been pushing out you're done so that gives you by itself a great sense of satisfaction and if that's the hardest thing that you want to do in a day and you're able to do that anything which comes your way after that looks much lighter simpler it's a uh end off and release right after workout it's only about a matter of putting your clothes stepping into your shoes and going to the gym or going for a walk 15 minutes into it you're not going to stop that much I know correct and once you complete it it's always going to be a winning uh episode it's not going to be where you're going to feel regret saying why did I even work out today so it's the motivation is only for that first 15 minutes which you need to push and if you wire your brain like just how you brush your teeth how you take your bath that this is something I'm going to do every single day I think it becomes easy so the starting point should be plain walking but I I'm saying just please don't settle there because everybody says I do walking every day and then they go into a sedentary job where they have to sit throughout the day and they still keep asking why am I not losing weight correct walking is movement training is for your strength is for your muscle is for pro protecting your joints and for women you know all the benefits it can give in the long run correct so there are two parts to it if you are having a crunch of Time start with walking once you feel confident with walking split it into maybe 30 minutes 40 minutes of strength training and 20 minutes of walking or you can completely devote that time to strength training in the morning the rest of the day every 1 hour if you have some sort of an alarm system on your phone which tells you gives you reminders to just walk get up do some sort of a movement fidgeting just to increase the neat in your body that would will be a great way to start things right um once let's say they are started that already okay the main question I get is that uh I've been fasting uh 12 hours I'm following your method okay okay so I I um just for people who don't know I follow this I recommend patients Sunrise to S I do the same yeah and uh similar to working out in the morning because you know when you see sunlight it triggers all your hormones diges hormones um and after Sunset digestive hormones comes down so basically when you eat late at night the quality is not there cor it is there but it's so when you are in the morning in that one hour after walking let's say you walked for like couple of months um I am having so much difficulty in people to let them lift weights why you like that in women why do you say that because everybody is hesitant they say I do yoga huh yeah okay I do yoga and then I I I walk sometimes they say I do I running as well so I'm telling them all these are relatively cardio exercise and especially for women in the menopausal period the joint problem with the bone problem because of the hormonal issue is slightly more osis osteoporosis and uh if you look at any orthopedic doctor they say that knee replacement hip replacement is very common in 67 65 year old female and not men that much correct yeah so in your I want you to use an example for my audience to see how they can love weight training okay so cardiovascular activity why I think women normally Love Is We Love sweating and you tend to get more a sweaty feel when you do cardio activities uh if you have a gadget or something it tells you you are burning more calories when you're doing a cardiovascular activity and in general we have been conditioned that you need to really work hard and do something really tough that's when you feel the Val ation point if you do something easy and simple which is boring also and which does not have variety because in weight training what do you do every day you go to the gym you pick some weights it's the same dumble it's the same bubble if it's a hypertrophy training you're going to do the same upper body each week you're just going to see changes very slowly in your uh you know in the clothes that you wear probably the weighing scale might even be the same if you're gaining muscle correct so all of this goes in for a mind problem with women and sometimes it's very funny when women come and tell me that uh they joined the gym and 3 Days Later they' put on muscle because it can't happen like that like you said we don't have testosterones it's impossible for us to look like a man or they say things like uh it's just not possible for us to go through those things so because of the too much information I think women are somewhere settling that weights are going to be not in the right direction it will make them look like a man they will become stiff and yoga on the other hand is about flexibility is about agility I'm not saying don't do yoga correct exactly I'm saying keep that yoga for once a week correct at least 3 days of strength training is very important for all the reasons that you simply said correct and for the longevity and in general I think for the inner strength and the confidence that you need to face life women go through a lot in the environment that they are in at home in work just thriving along uh with men who are still considered to be superiors who still have the majority of the population in comparison to women it is a tough life for any woman out there for that strength uh I think the physical strength is very important for me the game changed only when I became physically stronger that okay then I can be mentally stronger it was just a process and it's beautiful lessons that you learned in the course of doing strength training I pick up a weight today I try to do uh tricep or biceps I'm not even able to hold 1 kg when I start with but let's say 2 weeks 3 weeks later I'm able to easily do that 1 kg 2 kg 6 weeks 8 weeks later that 1 kg 2 kg becomes easy for me now I have to go get a higher weight isn't this like a great lesson that you can learn for Life absolutely failure is the stepping stone to success try try try and you will succeed so all these beautiful morals also in life was all starting with strength training for me what are the myths that is available uh that is around in India that with women and S training like becoming a man becoming a man is common and that uh if you are uh going to weight train then you won't get pregnant h ah actually if you weight train you might you will get pregant because the hormones work better yes and uh even if you are weight training like you're saying once the person gets pregnant I know you need to watch out on the kind of training you need to do doesn't mean you to stop everything and sit at home correct that's another myth which goes on like just stop everything because then some problem will happen to the baby I'll tell you an example I I I have to lift weights okay I look very lean uh the reason that I was pretty big before I lost weight but I just lost weight just because of fasting and diet and everything I didn't know that I will lose muscle mass as well okay so now after knowing that I went to gym okay I started lifting weights and in the gym there is this uh 20 week pregnant lady okay okay and she is lifting weights wow uh 20 this is an American lady American lady this an American lady okay and then she was lifting uh 20bs wow okay and uh I was asking her can you please lift the 20 PBS and give it to me because I was not able to lift it oh really fascinating right fasinating yeah fascinating uh then I I was so curious I was like you were pregnant you know I I I I don't have any quals in saying that I don't know much about Fitness before being a doctor myself and I can talk up with I can talk on this for on behal of all doctors because we were not trained on diation and nutrition during medical education okay so I asked her okay when did you start she said right from the age of 15 16 I've never stopped lifting weights great never stopped lifting weights and this is her fourth pregnancy oh really amazing and she looked like a muscular fit lady lovely uh and then she said so okay I understand but do you lift weights even during pregnancy and she said that only during the last trimester she doesn't lift heavy weights yeah yeah yeah that's what they say You're supposed to not do too heavy but you still supposed you can you should do because it helps in the pregnancy delivery it helps in uh the Post delivery situation correct and like you're saying there are higher chances of you getting pregnant if you do in fact for PCOS PC condition what do gynecologists say start strength training is what they say that's the basic everything absolutely if when a doctor certified person tells you to do this the another myth I wanted to address you is don't take protein protein is very bad it will affect your kidney any form of protein whether it's ve protein whether it's vegetarian whether it's nonvegetarian too much protein is not good for health too much protein is definitely not good for health but if we actually do the macros all of us are undereating when it comes to protein because 1 G per 1 kilo of body weight is the basic irrespective of whether you exercise or not not how many of us are really able to get to about 60 G or you know 70 g of protein every single day correct and we coming up with things like I'm eating Dal I'm eating chickpeas uh all of that becomes very funny I'm eating paner because when we look at the macros again paner meaning more fat correct DS lentil meaning more carbohydrates there is no protein any in any of the food that we take unless you are a meat eater correct and if you are a meat eater again it has own side effects when you add too much of uh you know processed meat and things like that corre so somewhere that knowledge for eating the right kind of food and protein and vegetables fiber I think it's so important doctor and you know let's say a 40-year-old lady looking at this and decides to do weight training inspired by Ramia okay for everything you add this tag inspired by and then say that okay I want to do do they join a gym in India or what do they do there are gyms in India they but they do a job they don't they don't so I will tell you my personal story I had yesterday uh a woman who is I I do something online like I have my own set of programs that I uh people can join and I help them out with trainers and nutritionists there is a lady who wants to do an online program with me and after she joins she tells me I don't want any male trainer training me this is online it is virtual and we don't have any harassment issues through the trainers or anything but there's a whole thing in the head that uh trainers meaning in India they need to be female they should be ready to come home and are available time these perks I don't think you get in the US no no way right it's literally like I'm hiring you you have to come home and just do things for me at my cost at my service at my timings and then you can and gym is a very um scary place in India because obviously most of the time there's a cardio room and a strength room in the cardio room you'll see all the women in the treadmill missions everything in the strength room there'll be all the Jim Bros there is no space for a woman today morning when I had to work out I was the only woman at 5:30 in the morning doing my strength training there and it can get a lot for somebody who is a little shy and feeling awkward and all that so the culture in working out in gym it's changing the youngsters are stepping up the ones who are right now in college uh who are you know probably in their early 20s stepping up but the ones who are in their 35s 40s I think they really need to own it and go do it go do it yeah otherwise I think like I said group fitness classes are very very good and that has a equal good mix of men and women but this thing in the head that I will not go out anywhere without my husband holding my hand or I won't go anywhere where there there are men who are populated I think that shift has to happen for women to really step up and do things I see I see super um so I me next topic is where your mental health huh okay is right now compared to before strength train it's in a great place I'm not going to lie and say things like every day is a happy day I never go through any uh mood swings or anything like that but uh now I'm in a place where I don't look outside for my happiness I know happiness is my choice in even the worst of situations uh to be happy is just a mindset change that I need to do for myself and I constantly keep working on it and that's where I think the physical fitness really plays a very big role uh things like smallest of things like let's say just facing the sunlight every day adds a lot of energy to me adds a lot of good mood to me and when I personally feel I'm in a good energy space no matter what sort of a situation I'm put put forth with I think I can easily handle it like even if um there's someone who's saying something nasty to me the earlier ramama used to feel very agitated she'd want to retaliate or prove a point saying that what you said was wrong and all that now it's just as simple as a smile and I still feel good for that other person God bless you maybe you need to grow up or make some good life decisions but I'm in a happy place and for me it's become very simple uh there there was this time when I was like I want to make x amount of money I want to do all those things in life I want to be a big achiever that's when I'll be happy M now exactly where I am I'm content happy and I've simplified things in life it's about happiness is all about the kind of relationships you have with the people around you you don't need to have 100 friends but if you have three four good friends who are going to be there for you uh simple things of Life the pleasures of Joy where you have the satisfaction of working something working on something really hard and getting a goal it can be at work it can be a simple workout uh and also the areas where you feel self time is very important there is a day in my week when I completely switch off all my phones devices Instagram yeah every Sunday most of the time unless it's a working Sunday I do that and that really helps I don't now anymore compare about what other people uh in my zone are doing and feel sad about myself or compare about uh the comments which are coming inside my handle and trying to self sabotage me those things are not and it's not that I worked ully at it it was just simple stuff when I started journaling I started recording my feelings I started to talking to people who are close to me about certain decisions in my life and I think you will attract the energy that you radiate even one thought if it is negative inside you that can have a profound effect on what is coming to you and if one thought is positive from you I can see that every single day in fact like I I just have to forgive let go and be in a happy space and how that translates to the rest of the day for me this is a day when I feel so fidgety and anxious and overwhelmed and how that translates the rest of the day is a magical difference and once you see the effects of this You' never want to go that side this you saw the change right before and after strength training kind of thing or was it was not even about strength training it was an evolving thing I I think it started with that Community Vibe uh of me connecting during those group workouts in the morning it was me putting myself out there with people whom I didn't know at all and coming from a career where people have a lot of preconceived notions about me thanks to the Articles which are written about us thanks to every opinion people hear watch read say and all that it's very hard for me to meet a crowd who are new welcoming they don't care about the job I do and they see me as who I am so when I put myself there about 10 years back in that heit group they were all a set of people who were not from any media film fraternity they didn't really care about what I was doing and it was very nice to see all of us come together each morning facing the sunlight for a solid 45 minutes session so if I was underperforming I would see them and get motivated and I would be like okay no I have to match up with them I'd become competitive one day and uh even for me in the morning on days when I don't feel like going to work out I'd be like no but 7:00 a.m. I'll meet all those friends and then after the we'll go have poda and S those were the happy things for me I think that Community Vibe really made a difference they sharing their stories I sharing my stories we becoming friends it changes the mental you don't have to be alone in this journey yes nobody is alone we we we weren't talking so much back then about our issues now I think in social media after people like deika Pon have become spokesperson for mental Wellness right people say people talk I do these days actually even put out post saying today is not a great day I'm just feeling a little low uh so I hope all of you are also doing well take care by so that really makes a difference and I think most of the time in my social media handle also whether it's Instagram YouTube women men they really appreciate posts when you're more authentic when you just don't do something for the sake of it corre and for me today there's no excitement in just shooting some happy photo shoot pictures of me wearing a Sor and looking great it is these sort of posts which gives me a lot of satisfaction social Med is a I think it's a very I I'm still not sure it's a boon or a bane I don't know even I'm not sure but I really enjoyed the time when we didn't have it right so in us when I was doing this by myself right so I'm going to be very honest I was very happy yeah in the sense that I can just do whatever I want and uh I think the initial growth was like that right but now I think uh while I'm talking to other uh team and everything uh I feel like the everybody has their own Journey on handling the comment section okay uh so I I feel the person other person is like okay this video is not going to I need to do a little bit more to get the other views compared to this video I was like you are all influence pressure you're talking about the influencers mindset exactly influencers mindset the peer pressure this kind of peer pressure I saw only during my uh College days oh during your college days I think school days the time when I was uh doing television and hosting I used to have no clue of what my contemporaries are doing I'll go I'll shoot I'll come back I'll be at home I'll see my episode on television and I'll be happy waiting for the next call to happen when they call me for shoot again today it's like the minute you host something immediately the next day uh the next hour only or in live it goes on YouTube it goes on Instagram everybody says so and so is hosting this audio launch that function this that there's so much of comparison last time they hosted this time this person hosted it's like unnecessarily pushing us into areas we really didn't have a say a word before and it's it's a lot of information to process we really don't want to know these things we are very happy and content with what we have but uh there's somebody sitting out there trying to like get things into our head in a way we want to for me I I don't have that pressure I don't uh dearly care about checking the views number of likes how it is performing I was surprised about the number of people who are actually focusing on that because that's also their bread and butter true for a lot of people influencing today is not just something like you and me which we do on the side we have a profession we do this on the site for a lot of people that's become a full-time job so they getting competitive it really matters to them but I think they mental health is at a really really biggest risk I'm telling you I'm very scared of them I'm sorry I'm scared of the situation how do you handle the negative comments so initially to be honest I don't even look at what other content creators are doing okay that is the first thing because I believe in something and then I uh put it on uh YouTube to see this is what my patients should follow yeah that's what I always look at and then uh initially when I do the covid vaccination thing everybody starts to like bash me like anything So Co you know this guy got money from Pharma he is working for f and all thing I didn't care at all it never bothered you right from the beginning right from the beginning because I know that this is the right thing to do I know this is the right thing to do I know this go save people and it saved eventually when people didn't know anything I said yes you go for vacation that's why I got this reach and everything but for me I think this was a process because I when I came into media there was no social media and I was not prepared for this uh occasionally probably some Tamil flimsy magazine will write some you know gossip column small things snippet which was also not too much happening for me thankfully back then so it nearly didn't affect me and people will always to your face say only nice things right so I was in a very nice happy space where I do a job I love the job I come out and then people appreciate me this is like the best of life when social media happened I was like but what did I do to you why are you saying these to me you don't even know me why are you saying such horrible stuff to me it it started there and then I used to really take it very personal there was a time when I would look for every negative comment and keep block or deleting it or trying to retaliate with it with an answer then I was like I gave up I'm like it really matters who I am and uh the way people perceive about me for me a only with the people who are in my immediate fraternity my family my close friends my connections if they think there's something wrong with me I'll have to explain I'll have to say what's the problem let's fix this but beyond that everything else is superficial sometimes I wonder if they say this right in YouTube when you put out a trailer or something like that in 24 hours you see a magical number of 1 million 100 million it's paid there are uh you know all these Robos Bots who are also you know putting up stuff there there are fake followers happening that's that's how I have 2 million yeah oh God I just said yeah also sorry and sometimes Dr pal would not be liked by a certain drct XYZ and Dr XYZ will create 100 people and say now go attack Dr pal I see so there are so many things happening which is beyond our control if we seek validation from these comments every day and honestly doctor let's say for a post of yours there are 100 comments I'm pretty sure 70 comments are positive 30 are very bad the 30 are bad fine but why are we not focusing on the 70 which are positive I I really don't know uh I this was the thinging our mind always loves negativity goes to negativity but we have to keep telling it shut and listen to me you don't try to overrule me how do you do that it was a selft talk you you talk to yourself yeah I I'm right now I'm telling you I've gone into a place where I literally see everybody as skeletons for me it's equality for me everyone is the same I don't want to show respect and admiration only on somebody who has great following I don't want to Ill treat a person who is probably asking for food on the road everybody has to be equal so for me people are just skeletons and the way I ALS react I don't want to I don't want to react I want to respond so every time anything happens whether it's making me angry whether it's making me impatient there's a small shift I come out of myself I say this is how ramama is thinking ramama feels this emotion now how Ramia should react I take about 5 seconds for that and then I come out of the reaction I truly don't think uh it's a big deal and try to put my self ego and uh I was a different person before and I think I think age really helps age how long do you think is this the change like two very recent very recent 6 months to one year now wow because I didn't like myself I didn't like uh uh being unpleasant I didn't like losing my control I see I would regret later probably at home my mother is not doing something which uh in the way I want her to at that moment I'll feel like why is she doing this but the way I talk to her and then later a few hours later I'll really feel guilty oh God she's my mother I shouldn't be saying this to her and po think she's so old right now I have to be nice to her this is her you know premium phase of her life I need to keep her happy and the more I started regretting and feeling guilty I was like why do I have to do this and feel guilty why can't I just avoid doing it so that talk really shifted wow wow aging is good I'm telling you feeling old the experience you get and today is also I'm at a place dog where I really don't care about anything I feel like uh as a girl who was conditioned from the very conservative Society if there are 100 men in front of me I'd always like Crouch myself go sit in a corner only say things when I'm asked to say otherwise not really give my opinion but as I'm aging I understand that we all humans end of the day it doesn't matter whether you're a man or a woman so if I want to say something I'll just say excuse me can I share my thought or I don't think too much before talking that confidence also it comes with age and experience that is a great liberating space to be in for a woman wow yeah you are in a very perfect space I wouldn't call perfect I'm always somebody working and I want everybody to have that mindset and that's very difficult to get it so work I'm going to talk work every day on it and then try to get the mindset like what Ramia has Doc it was such a pleasure talking to you thank you so much so much thanks R bye